(Author: Charlotte Cohen, Vol. 78, #2, Winter 2023)
The conversation was intelligent and stimulating. Spoken quite casually, and despite the fact that I had never heard it used in a sentence before, one word stood out: The word was ‘anthropomorphic.’
Upon asking what it meant, the explanation given was “when God is described as a human being”. The dictionary confirmed the explanation: “attributing human form or personality to God”.
I wondered whether I would ever have occasion to use such a word.
The opportunity arose at a conference when it was used in two favourite anecdotes as illustrations to introduce the topic.
The first story concerns an old man who prays every day: “Please God, let me win the lottery! Please God! Please! Let me win the lottery!”
This continues day in and day out for ages and eventually one of the angels goes to God and says: “Why don’t let him win the lottery? After all, he’s been praying like this for years, and really, he’s already 87 years old.”
To which God replies . “I’d like him to win it. In fact, I want him to win it! … But he never buys a ticket!”
The second story finds us at the scene of a flood. A man is standing chest deep in water.
Someone floats by on a log. “Take my hand” he urges the man. “I’ll pull you onto the log.”
“No, says the man, “I have faith. God will save me.”
When the water is up to his shoulders, a small boat sails past.
“We’re throwing you a life-belt!” shouts someone from the boat. “Swim towards it and we’ll pull you up on to the boat!”
“No” says the man. ‘I have faith in God. He will save me.”
…. With the water already up to his chin, a helicopter flies by. “We’re lowering a rope-ladder!” someone yells down to the man. “Grab it and we’ll haul you up!”
“No!” gurgles the man. ‘I have faith! God will save me!”
Eventually the water rises over his head and he drowns.
“I don’t understand” he complains to God. “I led an exemplary life. I obeyed all Your commandments. Why didn’t You save me? Why did You let me drown?
“What’s wrong with you?” says God. “I sent you a log and a boat and a helicopter!”
. ———-
What these stories illustrate is that, besides the fact that we often don’t make the opportunity, we often, don’t even take it. … Furthermore, many of us even fail to see the opportunity when it presents itself.
They say some people make things happen, some people watch things happen – and some people wonder what on earth happened!
A large sign in that conference room read: “We are all faced with great opportunities – often disguised as impossible situations or simply hard work.” Success stories repeat themselves constantly: Luck is where preparation and opportunity meet.
An opportunity usually suggests something better in the future, but requiring some sort of immediate change; and practically all opportunities suggest an element of chance.
To take an opportunity requires awareness and perception; to make an opportunity requires vision and ingenuity, courage and hard work.
… And yet, sometimes, even recognising the opportunity, we are afraid to take advantage of it – frightened of failing or making a fool of ourselves.
In an ‘anthropomorphic’ sense, opportunities are like receiving personalised gifts from God. …. How would you feel if you gave someone a really valuable gift and it was never used? – (Our talents also appear on that list of gifts.) How would you feel if your gift was never even acknowledged? – Or never opened – the wrapping not even removed to see what was inside?
A diamond ring does not always come in a small elegant box. It can also be wrapped in an old piece of newspaper. But it has the same value.
Many of us are inclined to think of opportunity as a rare occurrence, a chance in a million, a ‘once in a lifetime’. We miss the fact that every single day is in itself, a miniature lifetime, in which we are presented with countless opportunities – to make a new friend, find a new interest, gain a new perspective, experience something which will enhance our life or discover something which will add dimension to it – or right a wrong.
An inspirational meme reads: ‘When the door of happiness is closed, another opens.
But many of us continue only to look at the closed door. As a result, we often fail to see the new door to new opportunities’.
If one looks the word ‘disappointment’, one finds other words in it – ‘point’ – ‘appoint’ – ‘appointment’ and even the word ‘ointment’. From these words, the following introspection became manifest:
Other words in the word ‘disappointment’
– point’, ‘appoint’, ‘appointment’ and ‘ointment’
Allow one to view disappointment for what it is:
Topoint one in a different direction
To appoint one the opportunity
For a new appointment with destiny
Even providing the ointment
In smoothing the way
From further disillusionment
Use disappointment to its best advantage
Embark on a new voyage
With a renewed and regenerated image
Opportunities are also not only relevant to ourselves.
Again in an anthropomorphic sense, and perhaps on a higher plane, we have the expression ‘ma’a sim tovim’- where we effectively (quite apart from the 613 mitzvot) – ask God to give us the opportunity to do a good deed.
And one wonders whether this kind of prayer isn’t in its own way, a form of introspection – whereby we program ourselves to appreciate the sanctity of doing something beneficial for someone else?
Yet in some ways, it suggests that we look for the ‘big’ opportunity – to save someone from drowning, rescue someone from a burning building or something equally as dramatic.
Yet in our daily lives, we are literally given hundreds of opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life–- to help someone across the street, to give someone a lift, a warm smile, to listen attentively, to express our thanks, to encourage, to send a WhatsApp or an email or lift the telephone and find out how they are …. to tell someone you love them.
It would be extremely difficult to weigh how much bringing someone else joy, affects and increases our own happiness.
However, we know for certain that the Jewish religious calendar gives us, with faithful regularity, a very special opportunity every single year.
Every Jewish New Year allows us another opportunity to re-connect with our past, to
re-affirm and re-evaluate our present and re-assess our future.
It provides us the opportunity to reposition ourselves and to renew our values; a chance for introspection between the New Year and the Day of Atonement – to think things through, to hold out a hand of reconciliation and to put right mistakes of the past.
It gives us the golden opportunity to apologise for things we may have done (even inadvertently); to show contrition for being over-critical or judgmental; or to make peace with someone we may have hurt.
What we do not know, is whether this opportunity will be the last one we will be given.
——-
There is a philosophy that truth is only perception. If, for example, I stand in front of a statue of a figure and you stand behind it, and we were each asked to describe exactly what we had seen, it would be hard to believe that we were looking at the same object!
Given different backgrounds, influences and experiences, we reach conciliation when we try to see things from another standpoint – instead of insisting that our view is absolute.
Used by many spiritual and motivational groups as part of their credo, are the words: “Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
It takes more than a little courage to admit one was wrong, to apologise – even to compromise – or simply to make the first move. One risks a rebuff.
Some people who hold on to old resentments feel empowered by continuing to ‘punish’ those who, wittingly or not, may have caused them any pain or embarrassment.
Conversely, it may be you yourself who has held fast to an old resentment resisting any overtures.
From a prayerbook comes the line: “Don’t ask God for forgiveness until you yourself have forgiven your neighbour.”
So if you have not tried, now is the golden opportunity to do so. Now is the time to break the ice; to express what you are feeling; to hold out a conciliatory hand ….. Now is the time when the words ‘Carpe Diem” (seize the day!) become even more meaningful:
Now is the time to translate them into the magic words “Go ahead, make that call!”
The results might exceed your expectations!
If, anthropomorphically, God is ‘sitting in judgment’ deciding whether you should be ‘inscribed in the Book of Life’, you will surely be given a gold star for having made use of this precious opportunity!
If you do not wish to look at it in this way, give yourself the star!
Whatever the outcome, your endeavour deserves it.
——-
However – and finally – there is the third foot. And as there is no boot for it, but there are three feet in a yard, let us use that as a yardstick.
No one makes a mistake on purpose. And a mistake is effectively, also our best lesson!
What if you have already made an approach, if you have apologized, if you have tried to reconcile, and the response has been unrelentingly negative? …
What if every overture has been met with a rebuff?
What if you never made a mistake, but the discord is due to a complete divergence in personality?
Remember to accept that which you cannot change with serenity and equanimity. …. Remember that even here, you have the ability to use the miraculous power of choice given to you: You had an opportunity – and you took the initiative. You had the guts to try to improve the situation.
And now once again , you have an opportunity to recognize circumstance for what it is:
If your overture is remorselessly turned down, turned away and refused, fate has now clearly pointed you in a new direction: Use the opportunity to free yourself from the tears, the heartache, the hurt, recrimination or pain you may have helplessly and hopelessly been carrying – and for so long ….
Use the opportunity to move away, move on and move forward – and take or make the opportunity to gain alliance, encouragement , empathy and consummation from those with whom you do share a reciprocation of appreciation.
In every way, a new year affords one the opportunity for a new start, a new life and a new future.
.
Charlotte Cohen is an award-winning short story writer, essayist and poet whose work has appeared in a wide variety of publications since the 1970’s as well as in Jewish Affairs.
